There’s that good old self-care peaking its head out again. Maybe you are one of the people who hear this and roll your eyes as you tell yourself you will get to it when you have time or next week after you finish that never-ending project. Maybe you are the type of person who wishes you could have better self-care but don’t know what that even looks like since you have been on mommy patrol for way too long. If either of these is you, this is the blog you need to read.
What is self-care?
Self-care is whatever you need to do during the day to help you de-stress, catch a breath, feel good about yourself, and let your mind go for just a moment. Self-care is about remembering that you need to take care of your sacred vessel to have a long-lasting quality of life. This means at work, at home, or in your personal life.
Self-care can be anything you feel you need to do in that moment. Like what? Going to your favorite restaurant, taking a bath, getting a massage, getting some acupuncture, exercising, meditation, or even eating a delicious hamburger and fries with a milkshake. (Of course, don’t make that one a regular habit!) Resting in the evenings and making sure to get adequate sleep is also part of self-care. It’s all about you, for that moment when you choose to pay attention to your own needs instead of those of others. This is not a free ticket to begin to neglect your daily responsibilities.
This is saying that if you have a regular conscious self-care practice, you will be able to perform better, show up better in your life and relationships, and feel better about yourself and your outlook on life. There is always a balance that has to be maintained, so the important thing is not to forget to include yourself when planning your day. Even 10-15 minutes can make a positive difference.
Why is it so Difficult to Practice Self Care?
There can be many reasons, but a lot of it comes down to some of the same things. Oftentimes, we feel like we are just too busy and have way too many things to do to even think about what we need. As we run around from task to task, we forget. And by the time we get home, we are just too tired to even think about self-care. These are all obvious reasons and excuses that, while true, might be one way we are avoiding looking at the deeper underlying cause.
What is the deeper issue? I will speak about myself for a moment since I know myself best. My deeper issue is the fact that I feel like I have to do everything myself because nobody else can do it as well or as fast as I can. I have had difficulty asking others for help, thinking it will make me appear weak. I also feel I have created a certain “safety net” for myself by just doing it all on my own. And, another issue for me is that I feel I lack basic communication skills to even begin to explain my thought process to someone else and how something needs to get done. So you can see that I have some control issues, some trauma, and some self-esteem issues that have become my background operating system.
How to Change Your Mindset
Over the past several years, personal self-development work and therapy have helped me to identify these patterns as they come up. By identifying them, I can create new thoughts and ways of approaching life. Instead of being the great martyr that I have been in the past, I can now also be the one who asks for help. I have learned to communicate better by opening myself up to new possibilities. I have also accepted that others might have a great idea I haven’t thought about. Now that is ingenious!
By changing the way we relate to life and self, we can free up the necessary time we need for self-care. By tending to our self-care regularly, we can feel recharged, replenished, and renewed to tackle life challenges with a positive attitude.
What are you going to do today for your self-care? What will you begin to do regularly for your self-care? How can you reorganize some things to ensure you make time for yourself? Ask yourself these questions to help yourself stay on track and stay happy. As always, Hummingbird Wellness is a great resource to help you get back on track with your health goals.
